Korean TV

I am currently enthralled with a television program that may be the most ridiculous thing I have ever seen.  

It's all in Korean so I really can't understand anything.  

There are 6 guys in full yellow jump suits.  The first thing they were doing when I turned onto the channel was one fat guy was top rocking the most basic break dance move and all the other guys would run up to him knowing they would be pushed to the ground by his fat belly.  So they run up to the fat guy and then fall down and there is a loud laughing track (fake audience) that follows.  It all happens over, and over, and over again.  Guy after guy rushes up to the one fat guy and just fall down.  I said it was ridiculous, but I never said it wasn't funny.  This thing had me and the "audience" in stitches.  

The next thing they did was one guy would be "up" from what I could tell.  He would have a guy frantically wave a certain amount of fingers in front of his face for a few seconds and then would have to guess how many fingers there were.  The object is to wave your rock fist for example so fast that the guy who was "up" would not be able to see your fingers long enough to guess that there were two fingers waving in his face. Then he would guess wrong and everyone would laugh at him and flick him in the face. The guy who showed the fingers would also slap the guy who guessed wrong on his arm with as many fingers as he waved.

Next they had staring contests with their knuckles pressed against each other on a table and pushing against each other.  The winner pushed his opponents fingers over a certain line. Sort of an arm wrestle/tug of war.  

The next thing they did was have a  competition to see who could do the most pushups on the least amount of fingers. 

Next they are danced in skin tight outfits, and the winner was the one whose belly falls out of his zipped up jumpsuit last.

Did I mention that these are all grown men? Also they have cheerleaders.

Fan Death

Wow.  Ok.

So there is an urban legend in Korea that if you turn on an electric fan (or air conditioner) and leave it on all night when you fall asleep, that you will die.

All fans sold in Korea have a timer switch on them that you are encouraged to turn on before you go to bed.  

People believe they will die from fan death I think because as your body relaxes in sleep it becomes more susceptible to changes in temperature.  They think you will get hypothermia.  I think they may also think that the fan blades will cut up all the diatomic molecules of oxygen, leaving nothing left for your body to breathe. 

I have fallen asleep nearly every day with my AC on.  I should be more careful next summer.

Epiphany

I came to an important realization today.  I am lucky to be living where I am.  My apartment, while perhaps not as aesthetically pleasing as one may desire, is in a good location, being 5 minutes from work and a great part of town.  The YMCA is 5 minutes away, good groceries are 5 minutes away, and the bus stop and subway station are 5 and 10 away.  Good show.

Spitting

You will be randomly walking down the street in this country and suddenly you will hear the grossest sound you could know:  a Korean dude clearing his throat so loudly preparing to spread it out all over the pavement you’re walking on.  Thanks.  

September 7 2009

Today I ducked out of the way of a rat sized dragonfly.  Then walking back home one flew into my face.  

September 2 2009

Koreans randomly make U turns in the middle of the street.  Then when one car goes, 5 more follow.  This is usually followed by a series of aggressive honking and very nearly an accident every time with an oncoming car usually traveling at full speed.  

August 31 2009

Koreans wrap subway sandwiches like they are being quarantined.  

August 30 2009

Every car in Korea has scratches or dents on all 4 corners of the car.  I’ve been told that the most traffic fatalities per year come out of this country, and I believe that.  You can’t walk 5 minutes without hearing at least twice as many people honk their horns.  Tow trucks are funny because they have sirens on them and they race like mad through traffic.  And not just one several.  The first tow truck to the accident or collision gets the job and the money.  

August 28 2009

Probably the best thing about this country is the food.  For 4000 won, which is about 4 bucks Canadian, you can get a full meal.  If western food is your bag, how about a full plate of oven cheese spaghetti for 5 bucks?  There are a ridiculous number of cafes and dining areas everywhere, and most seem to be very inexpensive.  There are Outback Steakhouses and TGI Fridays all over too.  Apparently they are quite expensive though.  Another deal with the food: no tax and no tipping.  You can really save a lot when you are not adding 13 and then another 15% on top of everything you buy.  

August 25 2009

Hmm… more Korean cuisine and even more stubborn, obnoxious kids.  Remember I said I was impressed with some student levels? Unfortunately, I have taken to comparing them to all the other classes, which now seem impossible to teach due to their shameless stupidity.  Wow, as I type that out it seems a little mean.  I suppose it’s not their fault they don’t understand what I am talking about.  Why doesn’t everyone speak English already? Because I wouldn’t have a job or…?

August 24 2009

My first day at SLP.  Everyone is very welcoming.  There are several other foreign teachers and other Korean teachers working too.  My first day and week is to be strictly observation of other teachers in the classroom.  It looks like I will be teaching some preschool kids, something I had never once imagined nor desired.  Other student ages go up to about 13 years old.  The levels of English are higher than I imagined, with many classes of students holding the ability to read and write in English.  I came here under the impression that I would be teaching these kids conversational English, but some are already writing book reports.  Some kids are cute, some are fun and some are nightmares to deal with.  I tried some real Korean dishes over lunch and dinner and enjoyed the hot Korean spices.  Also, I have taken a liking to kimchee.  The food will be no problem.  The seemingly rigorous school schedule may be a different story.  Early to bed early to rise.

August 23 2009

I woke up and made my first attempt to familiarize myself with my location in Korea.  Essentially, I live in the ghetto.  I’ve  been told that this whole development is a decade old.  I’ve also been told that I live in a very rich district and part of the fastest growing parts of the country.  Much of this seems true, but instead of living in the high-rise, beautifully modern apartment complexes I imagined, I find myself in a 4-story, concrete? Edifice separated by tiny alleyways covered in dried vomit.  Apparently old Korean dudes have nothing better to do on weekdays but to drink themselves into a stupour.  The inside of the room I am sharing is nice enough.  The bathroom however has no window, and no shower.  Well, it has a shower head, just it shoots… everywhere.  No glass door or separation of shower.  Quite peculiar.  The door to the bathroom is of course made of wood and as a result is dilapidating which adds a pleasant touch to the aroma of crisp mildew making a home of the base of the toilet and anywhere else it can find.  I digress.  I took the main street one way to one of the big name department stores, Lotte Mart.  Several floors with each the size of a big Wal-Mart.  It screams success.  On my way out, I walked the main down the other way to the E-Mart, another of the same but apparently Korean owned.  The funny thing I find about these stores is that there seems to be someone to help out customers at each 10 foot section of the store.  So anytime you stop walking, some petite asian girl starts circling you like you’re prey in the dessert.  Vultures? As long as you keep moving you won’t be flooded with “aanyong haseyo” or other current nonsensical Korean jargon.  I familiarized myself with some of the things that I will likely by buying over the next little while: bagels, milk, cereal.  I tried to pas the time, successfully, until my jet lag kicked in around 6:30PM asking if I wouldn’t mind sleeping for the next 14 hours.  I didn’t.  

August 22 2009

Another one of the teachers picked me up at noon as my temporary roommate was away for the weekend at the beach.  We met up with some others to check out the big city, Seoul.  I live South of the capital, in a suburb called Suji-Gu.  Gu means district, or so I’ve been told.   We hopped on the bus and took the hour long ride to Seoul station for about a buck and a half.  Nice deal.  A couple of subway stops away found us wandering the flea market.  The Seoul flea market contains some of the most useless, dated, well, crap that I have ever seen to this day.  But it was fun to see my new friends haggling in their impressive attempts to speak the local language.  Another trip on the subway and we were in Hongdae University area where I probably haven’t seen more people in one place before in my life.  Just getting out of the subway station.  China is probably worse.  Also internment camps.  The local party zone found me dining at a coveted Korean cuisine, Dos Tacos, where I ate attempts at Mexican burritos while reading the rest of the menu consisting of Coronas and other authentic Korean treasures.  I also checked out a popular tourist spot Insadong where I perused beautiful art pieces, watched as Italian tourist couples walked hand in hand adding to the melting pot of cultures in the city’s centre, and watched how some handmade jewelry was crated.  The rode the bus on the relatively quick ride home, crossing my fingers and holding my breath as the psycho driver squeezed his way through the other traffic.  I was returned safely to the Gu.  Jet lag anyone? Time to sleep.

August 20/21 2009

My adventure in Korea started with a day-long flight from Ottawa to Toronto to Tokyo to Seoul.  My first 5 minutes in Japan saw me searching for a washroom at the airport.  I walked in, pushed the door of the stall  open, and BAM! Hole in the ground toilet.  Um… ok.  I think I’ll pass.  Japanese people act as if they have never seen a white or maybe tall person before.  Maybe they haven’t.  In fact, I’m glad I could be their first, as they craned their necks taking long, hard gazes UP at me.  Suddenly, nobody spoke English anymore.  My flight into Seoul consisted of some what I expected were Japanese tourists, several Koreans, and myself.  Oh, and the other white dude I decided to approach and speak to.  Unfortunately, he didn’t really speak English as he was… maybe Swiss or something.  First and last assumption I make about the other white foreigners in this country.  I made it into Seoul at about 11:30 PM.  Someone representing the school I will work at was waiting for me at the airport.  My first extended contact with a native Korean.  Our near 2 hour car ride consisted of heavily weaving in and out of traffic while his GPS screamed at him to slow down, paying money to the ridiculous number of toll gates in this country, and answering strange forward questions for instance about my religious beliefs.  When I got to the 2 bedroom apartment I would be sharing with another teacher until my own apartment was ready the following week, I crashed after being awake for maybe 30 hours.  Welcome to Korea.